One thing that Im good at is living vicariously through people. Mostly YouTubers. I watch their videos, and wish I was them. Pretend Im them, even though I know Im not. Iĺl try and act like them, put on their accents, wear clothes like them. Try and make my room look like theirs. But I never quite do it right, especially with the room thing (my room is still a mess). I want to be like them, I want to be with them, I want to be them. And I know that I cant be them. I know I have to make my own life my own, and make it amazing. I know I have to make the best of what I have, but its hard. Its hard when youŕe still in school and feel like you cant do anything. You dont have any time, its all devoted to learning. And learning is valuable, and for some people school is valuable, but I just dont want to be in school anymore. I know that people have died, fighting for the right to go to school, and that makes me feel very guilty. I feel like I should be more grateful that I have an education, but Im not. I mean, I am. Im grateful, but at the same time I just want to get out of it. I want to be done with High School. I dont want to go to college or university, but at the same time I do. To please my parents. To get a job. But then that means another four years of school. I know that one day Iĺl look back, and realize its all over, and Iĺl wish that I had appreciated my high school times more. But right now, I just want out.