Divorce from the perspective of the child:
I am a 14 year old girl. Recently, when I was 13, in February of 2014, my parents separated. They still aren't divorced today, in November 2014, but they're never getting back together (like the Taylor Swift song...). The only thing stopping them from divorcing is finances.
They were married for 20 years. My dad was my mom's first love. I am also an only child. When I was younger, I could never ever imagine my parents getting divorced.
Divorce sucks. Divorce really sucks. I'm still not over it. I was mad, and incredibly sad. I cried so so much in those first few days. My parents were fighting for a long time before my mom moved out, yet I still thought it wouldn't happen. My mom is happy. This divorce did everything to help her. My dad is not so happy. He cried more than I've ever seen him cry in my life. It was horrible.
I don't know where I'm going with this post but just please, if you have kids and are considering divorce, I'm not telling you not to, but just think of them, and your spouse. Remember to not just think of yourself. Try your hardest to work things out. Just try.
I love you all.
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Friday, November 14, 2014
Cat-calling
First of all, no matter what you might think, cat-calling is not a compliment.
I used to think that cat-calling was a compliment too, I'll admit, and that's just sad. The very first time I got cat-called, which, I'll admit, was not very long ago, I was flattered. I have never been in a relationship, and I have fairly low self esteem. Pretty much, I'm pretty desperate for a boyfriend. The first time I got cat-called, I was under the impression that no boy or man could ever be attracted to me in any way. So, it was a huge surprise that someone could actually think I was attractive, so, I was flattered. I was walking down the street with my dad, me wearing a tank top and shorts, when this car drives by, and I hear a wolf whistle come out of the window.
The car kept on driving past, and I never even saw who it was.
My dad was proud. He was proud that that was the first time a boy had whistled at me. And that makes me sick. My dad is a good person, and he's overall a liberal democrat, but in some ways he's still a little bit conservative.
Later that day I straight up asked him ¨How was I supposed to take that? Was I supposed to be flattered or offended?¨ He responded with ¨A little bit of both¨. I disagree with him entirely.
I have been cat-called multiple times since then, and each time, I still felt flattered. I don't know if I'll ever not feel flattered, but it's something that I want to change. I don't want to be flattered. I don't want to live in a world where 20-something men yelling slurred words out of a car window to 14 year old girls is considered a compliment.
It's harassment. It is in no way acceptable, and I want to work towards a world where people understand that. I want to work towards a world where young girls, like me, are not happy to be harassed.
What's worse is that since winter has come and I've stopped wearing shorts, I have not been cat-called once. This shows how they were simply treating me this way because my legs were exposed, because I was wearing temperature appropriate clothing. This shows that I was being treated as a sexual object. Not even me - just my legs. My legs, as soon as they are covered up, are no longer an object of interest. My legs are not something for your viewing pleasure. My legs are not a sex object.
I am not a sex object, and neither are you. Remember that.
Cat-calling is not a compliment.
I used to think that cat-calling was a compliment too, I'll admit, and that's just sad. The very first time I got cat-called, which, I'll admit, was not very long ago, I was flattered. I have never been in a relationship, and I have fairly low self esteem. Pretty much, I'm pretty desperate for a boyfriend. The first time I got cat-called, I was under the impression that no boy or man could ever be attracted to me in any way. So, it was a huge surprise that someone could actually think I was attractive, so, I was flattered. I was walking down the street with my dad, me wearing a tank top and shorts, when this car drives by, and I hear a wolf whistle come out of the window.
The car kept on driving past, and I never even saw who it was.
My dad was proud. He was proud that that was the first time a boy had whistled at me. And that makes me sick. My dad is a good person, and he's overall a liberal democrat, but in some ways he's still a little bit conservative.
Later that day I straight up asked him ¨How was I supposed to take that? Was I supposed to be flattered or offended?¨ He responded with ¨A little bit of both¨. I disagree with him entirely.
I have been cat-called multiple times since then, and each time, I still felt flattered. I don't know if I'll ever not feel flattered, but it's something that I want to change. I don't want to be flattered. I don't want to live in a world where 20-something men yelling slurred words out of a car window to 14 year old girls is considered a compliment.
It's harassment. It is in no way acceptable, and I want to work towards a world where people understand that. I want to work towards a world where young girls, like me, are not happy to be harassed.
What's worse is that since winter has come and I've stopped wearing shorts, I have not been cat-called once. This shows how they were simply treating me this way because my legs were exposed, because I was wearing temperature appropriate clothing. This shows that I was being treated as a sexual object. Not even me - just my legs. My legs, as soon as they are covered up, are no longer an object of interest. My legs are not something for your viewing pleasure. My legs are not a sex object.
I am not a sex object, and neither are you. Remember that.
Cat-calling is not a compliment.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Fall Photos
I'm shitty at taking pictures, but I try. Here's some of my attempts of taking some Autumnal pictures.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
One thing that Im good at is living vicariously through people. Mostly YouTubers. I watch their videos, and wish I was them. Pretend Im them, even though I know Im not. Iĺl try and act like them, put on their accents, wear clothes like them. Try and make my room look like theirs. But I never quite do it right, especially with the room thing (my room is still a mess). I want to be like them, I want to be with them, I want to be them. And I know that I cant be them. I know I have to make my own life my own, and make it amazing. I know I have to make the best of what I have, but its hard. Its hard when youŕe still in school and feel like you cant do anything. You dont have any time, its all devoted to learning. And learning is valuable, and for some people school is valuable, but I just dont want to be in school anymore. I know that people have died, fighting for the right to go to school, and that makes me feel very guilty. I feel like I should be more grateful that I have an education, but Im not. I mean, I am. Im grateful, but at the same time I just want to get out of it. I want to be done with High School. I dont want to go to college or university, but at the same time I do. To please my parents. To get a job. But then that means another four years of school. I know that one day Iĺl look back, and realize its all over, and Iĺl wish that I had appreciated my high school times more. But right now, I just want out.
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